Cherishing our Husbands....from Ashley Gates

Husbands do wonderful things for their families. They often work hard at their job during the week and then come home to wrestle and play with the kids. Some week nights he spends watching the kids so that I can serve in my calling or go to a girl’s night. Mine spends Saturdays doing service for families in the ward, yard work, projects around the house, or fun family activities. 

Today, December 10, 2012 marks the one year anniversary of the death of our sweet cousin David Kenney. Now I did not personally spend any quality time with David, but from hearing stories from his family and friends, I know he was a wonderful man, husband, and father. Today also marks the 6 year anniversary of the death of Sam Hawkins, a dear friend of ours from our time in Maryland. He was also a wonderful husband and father. While we lived close to their family, Sam was in law school and this was before Chuck’s law school. I can remember Chuck talking to Sam about what law school was like and his desire to go.  Sam was sworn in as a lawyer just weeks before his death while undergoing treatment for his cancer that was diagnosed just a few months after law school graduation.

I wanted to spend today honoring these husbands by serving my husband, doing work that would be meaningful to him. I decided to focus on our yard because Chuck enjoys making our yard and garden beautiful. Since it is winter, work needed to be done pruning and cleaning up dying plants. In our front yard I trimmed and cleaned around the lamp post and mailbox.  I then worked on our garden area. I cleaned out the dead plants, cleaned up the support posts, and washed out pots. I only got half of the garden area finished and will need to finish another day. I moved on to our flower garden area.  I pulled out the dead branches and pruned the rose bushes. I also wound up a few hoses that had been left out in piles in the yard.

As I did this work for a few hours today, I tried to focus on my husband and how much I love all the hard work he does for me and our family at work and at our home. I thought of Cris and Kira and the love that they each have for their husbands that are no longer with them on this earth.  I’m going to hug my husband a little tighter today. I’m going to focus on all the wonderful things he does for me and try to serve him more often.

 

 

for EVERYONE!

for Cris

For Joshua and Jasmine

How Can You Be Gone? . . . love, your mother

How Can You Be Gone?

How can you be gone today

When the sun is shining so bright?

There's holiday decorations and

Music and fantasy in lights.

How can you be gone this past

Month of serious celebration?

Halloween, Birthdays and Thanksgiving

All of which you considered worthy of your dedication.

How can you be gone now

For a year, I've been very worried

About how the anniversary and the holidays

Would happen with everything else so hurried.

How can you be gone

As at your picture I often gaze

And when I reach out to touch you

Your smile always stays.

How can you be gone now

When the prize I've found I've won

Is to still be able to look in your eyes

Which are really those of your son.

And oh the memory of laughter

Of giggles and lots of fun

Those I still hear regularly

As Jasmine keeps us on the run.

The time is now, and now is here

And as a family we face

A new year to encounter

And yet recall the saving grace-

Not only the meaning of the atonement

And redemption for those still living

But of your love and willingness

To serve others, in the ways you were always so giving.

So very many of us still living

Accepted a challenge for this year.

One to remember you and make you proud

A stretch goal we may all fear.

Something, since you are not on earth

To others do unto them-

Something that we could do instead

But from your influence it may stem.

For me it took a little time

And quiet contemplation

Of what would I most make you proud

And worthy of this occasion.

Of course the very first thing

Was to draw nearer to our Father and his son.

Nothing new was required,

But continued persistence in the course that we have run.

Your Dad and I planned how we could be better

At personal prayer, scripture study and temple attendance.

Then there was the service part – for us to

Continue in our callings that required our acceptance.

Next, I thought about what would be meaningful

To my son, his wife and his children.

What could I continue in his stead

What of his hobbies could be done?

Ah, ha! The train – that was the thing

That brought the children running.

Oh, for a ride in that really cool train

Was something that could be quite stunning.

So I began to book the summer

The word was out and I watched

As bookings started coming in

A chance to share what you loved.

For the church, both ward and stake

For Birthday parties, schools and work.

Even a memorial run for another-

Another child that He took.

It wasn't always easy to keep the commitments I'd made

But on and on the summer progressed,

Between my brother Dan, Spencer, Bruce and our friend Wes

Many childrens lives were blessed.

One more area I wanted to focus on

That of truly serving others-

The opportunity came thru IHC

To participate in a project of serving our brothers.

We made bologna and cheese sandwiches

Five hundred of them that day.

That's a lot of bologna!

Was about all that we could say.

And then when they were wrapped and boxed

We delivered them to the soup kitchen.

There we donned hair nets, aprons and gloves

And were ready to enrichen....

The lives of the many homeless

Not just men, but women and their children.

What a lesson in humility for us

One that will not quickly be forgotten.

We tried not to let the tears show through

At the hopelessness of others-

Why are we so very blessed

Is it only in the gospel that we are brothers?

And so again I ask

How can you be gone?

So very, very far away

And oh, for so very long.

A year has past and my prayer is that

I will remember every hour of every day

Of every month and every year

How often you would come and say-

“I love you Mom and I love you Dad

Thank you for everything.”

And then you'd be the example

Of Christ in the actions of your being.

How good you were to everyone

That you encountered in your short life

The children, the aged, the blind and the poor.

Those with misfortune at birth or in strife.

All were your friends, welcome in your home-

Each soul that you would encounter.

Where you continued to live the example of him

In serving the least of these, your brothers.

As a child of God, with his plan in mind

I want to continue to try

To live his commandments that we may abide

In Heaven, together, after I die.

You served your Lord while on this earth

And now my challenge I see

Is to follow the example that you set

That we may live eternally.

Top of Zion . . . by Ellen

This month I wanted to do a service project specifically in David's honor which was to create a web page dedicated to him on my Top of Zion Relay - Run for the Cause section. Right now the relay is small but as it grows it will hopefully bring attention to David's great character and inspire people to be and do better.

click here to go to Top of Zion Relay website

In Memory of David James Kenney

When the Top of Zion Relay was first created, David was literally first on the list to contact and invite to participate.  He was the type of person who not only loved to run, but loved bringing people together for an adventure!  We just knew he would embrace the idea of the relay with enthusiasm because it was a perfect way to enjoy people in an active adventurous way, not to mention that the finish line takes place at Clear Creek Ranch, the stomping grounds of David’s youth!

Unfortunately, we never got to tell him about the relay, let alone invite him to participate.  Instead, he invited us, with his passing, to reflect on what really mattered and try a little harder to be a little better.  His example of a short 32 years was full of kindness, creativity, enthusiasm for life, and a love for everyone he met.  He never said an unkind word about anyone and lived his life to serve and uplift others.  He reminded us that people are what really matter and making memories strengthen those relationships.

That is why we at the Top of Zion Relay want to remember his life in hopes that he can inspire others like he has us!  He is one of the reasons we want to build the Top of Zion Relay – because it is a great way to focus on relationships, make memories and have an adventure of a life time.  We hope as you “Run for a Cause” that he will inspire you to take the time to strengthen the relationships around you and to serve.

EFY fun . . . from Amy

Dear David and Family,

When I first received the notification about our “Gift of Service,” I was very excited!  I love serving others, it totally ROCKS!

At the time the when I received the email, I was swamped at work, but it was always not far from my mind.  I got an email from a fellow employee that she was having a raffle for “Make A Wish” foundation (www.wish.org).  It is a
wonderful program that I have volunteered with before.  They grant wishes to children with “life threatening” medical conditions.  Our cousin Carol Joy Knapp received a wish many years ago through this program.  I thought, I don’t have much extra time, but I really want to do something, I will just buy a ticket or two and if I win, I will give it to Aunt Jimae and Uncle Bruce. 

Well…I WON!

I won a free cruise for two on Holland America!  I called Jimae and told her my story and I think she was in a bit of shock.  She talked to Bruce (I think at first he thought it was a Hoax).  They had just bought tickets to go to Hawaii to visit Ben for the holidays.  They felt that as they had just purchased tickets to go to Hawaii, they didn’t have the time to take off between now and the end of the year (when the cruise must be used).

It is a tough assignment but I will take the cruise :>  But I still want to do something so I talked to Jimae about an idea that I had.  Last year Darcy, my daughter, participated in EFY Stay At Home program.  It offers an opportunity for the youth to stay at home at night but during the day, go to EFY.  It is significantly cheaper then the regular EFY program.  Darcy went to the Sandy, UT program last year.  She loved it!  I thought it would be fun if all the cousins went to it together and stayed at Aunt Jimae and Uncle Bruce’s’ home at night.  Jimae agreed and I told her I would set it up.  I would also give Ben’s daughter or daughter’s (if they wanted to) a guest pass guest pass to come and attend too (FYI Alaska Airlines will start flying to SLC the Thursday before April general conference).

So, calling all cousins, 14-18 years of age: let’s do EFY together!  They don’t have the schedule yet but if you will send me the dates of your Girls Camps/Scout Camps etc, when they announce the dates, we will do it!

Love and Miss you!

Temple Trip . . . from Alex

For any who are reading this blog who aren't familiar with what happens within LDS temples, let me summarize with this quote from mormon.org

In the temple, members:

• Learn eternal truths.
• Receive sacred ordinances, including those that bind husband and wife together for eternity, as well as join children and parents (Malachi 4:5-6).
• Provide ordinances such as baptism for those who have died without the opportunity to receive the gospel of Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:29); 1 Peter 4:6)

The service I did in Davids name was to gather as many of our family as possible, and go serve in the temple with our Grandpa. A little over a year before Davids accident we did something similar together. My cousin Caleb, David, Grandpa, and myself all went to the temple together. I will always remember how proud Grandpa was to be there with 3 of his grandchildren. Several times he would pull a temple worker aside and say to them "You see those 3 men over there? They are here  with ME." 

It was a really great experience for all of us, and I've always wanted to repeat the experience with even MORE of Grandpa's progeny. We tried to arrange another trip about a month before David's accident but it fell through. During the week of David's death and funeral, family began flying in from all over the country, and I knew I had an opportunity to repeat the experience with those who didn't live in Utah. We had a large turnout of cousins who joined with Grandpa, but the mood of the week had us all in a somber spirit.

When tasked with coming up with a service to do in David's name, I wanted it to be something that specifically reminded me of him, and this was just the thing. So it was, that on Saturday November 17th, my Grandpa was surrounded with family as we entered the Jordan River temple to serve together. 

What I expected was to feel like David and Grandma were right there with us, and feel a distinct connection while serving in the temple. What I got was different. I felt the spirit of the work we were doing, and a closeness to those I was serving there with. While I did feel the presence of David and those from the other side, I also knew that they were engaged in work of their own. 

It was still a wonderful experience. I saw how happy Grandpa was to have 12 of his descendants there in the Celestial room with him and I know it will be something he will treasure for the rest of his life. As for me, I was glad I could strengthen the bonds we have with family here on earth, while also doing service for those who have passed on. 

Ensenada Book of Mormon Project...from Dixie and family

Dear David,

What a year DEEJ!  (For those of you who don't know I used to call David  - DJ  - which turned to DEEJ)  Anyway, what a year - Oh what a year!  I have learned much in the last year!  Thank you for the things I have learned and thank you for watching over me during some of the trials.

When thinking about what service I could do - there are so many - and when I did things I thought - oh this could be my service in honor of David.  But I wanted to do something just for you.

Courtney booked our family to go on a cruise over six months ago.  I realized we were going to be in Mexico on November 7, the day before your birthday.  I knew the perfect service!  You were such a great missionary always.  When you were a teenager I remember walking in the living room of the Ranch House and seeing you asleep with the Book of Mormon open on your chest.  You had fallen asleep reading the Book of Mormon after a long day of hard work.  What an example that was to me about loving  and reading the Book of Mormon.  I often think of that night when I think of you.

Then you served your mission in Mexico!  What better service than to give out Book of Mormons to the wonderful Mexican people - like you did for 2 years of your life.  Brandy bought 3 Book of Mormons in Spanish and Courtney bought 2 of the kids Book of Mormon stories in Spanish.  As we left the ship on the morning of the 7th to go into Ensenada, Mexico we had a special family prayer that we would feel the spirit to know who David and Heavenly Father  wanted us to give the books to.

We had not been in town long when on a corner we were trying to decide what to do.  There were 2 little chiclets kids.  When you are in the main tourist shopping areas there are these darling little kids that want you to buy this little package of gum - maybe 6-8 little chiclet size gum pieces.  It is so hard to resist - Courtney could not and bought some gum.  Noah asked about giving Book of Mormons to them, but as we turned the corner there were 4 more kids and we only had 2 kids books.  So we decided to wait.

We decided to go to hang out on the nearest Beach.  We asked the closest taxi driver to take us to the closest good beach.  He proceeded to take us on a 30 - 40 minute drive through town to get to a private beach with hardly anyone else on it.  On the way Matt sat in the front and was chatting with Frank the Taxi Driver.  He brought up the Mormons and asked if he knew anything about Mormons.  When we got to the beach Frank said he was just going to wait for us for the next 1-2 hours until we were done at the beach.  Brandy gave out our first Book of Mormon to Frank.  When we returned later he was sitting in the front of the Taxi reading his new Book of Mormon.  He has 4 kids and is going to retire from his regular job of checking  beer bottles at the factory in one year.

When we got back to the same corner we began our journey.  Those same two kids were standing on the same corner selling their gum.  It was only the 2 kids so Noah asked if he could give out the 2 kids Book of Mormon stories to them. He bought a chiclet from each of them and then gave them the books.  The kids were so excited and happy!  There smiles were huge.  We saw them 2 hours later on  a different corner selling their chiclets and still holding their new books to their chests!

Next we did some shopping.  Camden was in search of a hammock.  He wanted the kind that David slept in after his mission.  So we looked in quite a few shops and Camden just wasn't feeling it.  After quite a few stores we were in a little shop with this older sweet man.  He spent alot of time showing us different Hammocks, even had a place in the back to hang it up and try it out.  He was great.  This is who Camden chose.  He started telling him about the church and the Book of Mormon and then gave his book away.  The man seemed pleased and said he would read it.

We left the shop and soon came to a mother sitting on the sidewalk with her 2 small children.  After we passed them Noah said that is who we were to give our last Book of Mormon to.  He ran back and gave her the Book of Mormon with some money.  You can see how happy she was.  Noah came back and said he wished he had another Book of Mormon for the lady sitting across from that lady that was nursing her baby.  We had no more Book of Mormons.  I asked Noah if he wanted to give that other lady some money (she was holding out a cup for money).  Noah said "Sure but I don't think she wants money - I think she wants a drink of water in her cup!"  I love that kid!

We had a great time giving out these Book of Mormons and wished we had brought even more!  I pray that these individuals and their families will be blessed by these special gifts from us, you - David and from Heavenly Father.



We love you!  Thank you for being you!

Love,
Dixie, Brandy, Camden, Noah, Courtney, Matt and Milo

Book of Memories... from Julia

Memories are so important to me.  I try to keep a journal and I know I take way too many photos. I guess my hope is that throughout the years to come I can look back at what I've done, where I've been, and remember those people and experiences that have made this life beautiful.

Currently, however, I am working on a different kind of journal.  One not for myself. I remember the weekend of David's funeral. I remember people asking, "What can we do for your family" but then realizing there is really nothing that could take away the awful pain and heartache. David's sisters asked for people to write down some favorite moments with him, and I'm sure a hundred different memories of growing up with David came to my mind.  I tried to record just a few of them before I let any more time pass, but I, like everyone else, found it difficult to put thoughts into words. Words just don't do justice for someone like Dave.  

Well, after talking with Laura a bit during a recent trip to Utah, she expressed how much the family would still love to preserve as many memories of David as possible. I agreed this project was a must. I took on the challenge of compiling memories for David's book.

I tell you, contacting and hearing back from everyone is no small task!  He has so many life-long friends, coworkers, mission companions, and family members that I know would love to participate.  I've collected entries from many... but am still waiting for MANY more. I continue to push back the "due date"... mostly because I know this book will not be complete without certain people who knew David best.
A work in progress.
If you are reading this post, and haven't submitted an entry for this book yet, please DO!  I know this is the busiest time of year, but this is an important gift of service for David's family.  As Laura said, "Something is always better than nothing."  So it can be short and simple or as detailed as you'd like.

Here are a few writing prompts...
What is your favorite memory with David?
What have you learned from his example?
What would you like his children to know about him?
David lived a life full of gratitude. At this Thanksgiving season, what are you most thankful for, and how can you show that gratitude more fully each day?}

How wonderful it will be for his two young children to get to read these memories someday and see how many lives David had influenced for good.  How wonderful it will be for his family to remember his optimism, goofiness, creativity, and charity. 

We love you, David, and miss you.  You've touched more lives than you may ever know.

Love, Julia

Happy Birthday David! from Laura

Happy happy birthday little brother.  This year, in so many ways, has been the hardest of my entire life.  But, at the same time, I cannot deny that I have learned lessons from your life and your death that have changed me for the better. 

When we decided to do some act of service in your name, the first thing that popped into my head was how I wanted to be better at serving in the Lord’s Temple.  I made it my goal to go every month this year.  Sometimes it feels like a selfish goal because I have received many blessings by giving of my time to do temple work for those in the spirit world that cannot do it for themselves. 

Many of the months Mom and I have gone together.  It’s been so nice to sit with her in peace and quiet.  Of course we don’t talk much, but we gain strength from each other.  Sometimes other family members have been able to join me, or I go by myself.

 

I want you to know that I have a testimony of temple service.  I am so thankful to live close enough to so many temples.  I have been blessed to feel you close most of the time that I am there.  I know this work is so very important to you, maybe that’s why I made it my goal. 

Last month was our Stake RS Temple day, and we were blessed to hear from one of the matrons of the Salt Lake Temple.  She read us the following quote from John A. Widtsoe:

“Spiritual power is generated within temple walls and sent out to bless the world. Light from the house of the Lord illuminates every home within the Church fitted for its reception by participation in temple privileges. The path from the temple to the home of man is divinely brilliant. Every home penetrated by the temple spirit enlightens, and comforts every member of the household. The peace we covet is found in such homes.

Indeed, when temples are on earth, the whole world shares measurably in the issuing light; when absent, the hearts of men become heavy, as if they said, with the people of Enoch's day, 'Zion is fled' (See Moses 7:69).”

I love envisioning the “path from the temple to the home” being divinely brilliant.  I know my family has been blessed by my attending the temple more often.  I feel like we have been blessed with more light and understanding to our little hiccups and trials of life. 

I’ve loved the scripture Doctrine and Covenants 101:16 ever since you whispered it to my heart last December.  

“Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.”

I’ve tried to remember this commandment and take time to just be still.  When I quiet my heart and mind, it is easier to focus on what is most important.  This is easier to do when I return to the temple often. 

Last spring I made a little necklace to remind me of how important it is to Be Still.  I wear it most days, along with a pearl from Grandma Bodell.  It helps me feel a bit closer to both of you. 

Another of the service projects I did in your name was to compile a book of our experiences as a family relating to your death.  It was a hard thing for all of us to think about, but we knew that we had all experienced sacred things and felt of our Savior's love throughout this year.  Everyone contributed and I pulled the journal entries and testimonies into this book for our family to reflect on whenever we are missing you. 

I am so grateful for all the lessons you are teaching me as I work hard to become more like you until the day when we can be together again.   I miss you so much.

All my love,

Laura

"Me and My Papa", photo books of service from Courtney

I was given the opportunity of service by David's sister Laura asking me if I would be willing to make photo books for Josh and Jasmine.

 I am so grateful to have been able to do this. I feel like I came closer to David through this project of sorting and searching through all the pictures of him and his sweet children.

I have learned in the past year from David's death to cherish every moment with the ones you love, and to take lots of pictures.

I am so grateful that Cristina took so many pictures with the kids and their Daddy. These pictures are going to be constant reminders of who their Dad is and how much he loves them.

David was loving, kind, thoughtful and fun, all of these traits come through in the pictures that were taken of him during his life.

Thank you David for being such a great example and for teaching us all how we should live even after you have left this world. We miss you and love you.

Dear David, From Mitzi

Dear David,

You were 2 years younger then me but only a year behind me in school. Although I hung out mostly with Laura, we still had lots of fun together - especially in high school. While going through some boxes after our move, I found a bunch of letters that you had written to me back in high school when we were pen pals. I laughed and cried as I read them. It was funny to go back and read what we talked about. A little about how you were taking guitar lessons, a little about how you had just joined BMG and got your first shipment of CD's, a little about how you were going to run for a student body officer. I had to laugh when you called uncle Tim and old fart for talking you out of driving somewhere to visit girls.

You also talked about how you ran at regionals for cross-country and got first place for Highland J.V.  You were always about improving yourself. In high school you didn't like that you were getting overweight so you decided to join the track team. And a little while later, you were taking first place!

This is where I took my encouragement from when Liz and Laura challenged us to do something in honor of David. I decided that I too was a little sick of carrying a little extra baby weight so I decided to run a 1/2 marathon. My dad has always talked about running a marathon so I talked him into joining me (didn't have to talk him into it too much since he was practically training for it on his mission). My brother-in-law Hock decided to join us as well. It was such a great experience. It took so much hard work and dedication, but I did it! I never could have done it w/o Hock! I would be the one in the team to wake us up for the early runs and he would be the one to keep me running once we got up! It was a good partnership. About once a week I would run with my phone and earphones while talking to dad while he was running. It was a great bonding experience with my dad too. 

To close, I just want to write a few things that were at the end of David's letters. He was always such a positive kid.  I love these phrases b/c I can hear him saying each of them in my head:

Remember...Attitude is everything!

Always Smile!

Don't change for the world,
Always Smile and MPH! (Make People Happy!)

I love you David James!

"Beautiful", from Katherine

“Beautiful”

Jane is beautiful inside and out. She was able to overcome her trials and then share what she had learned to those who most needed her. She was a woman of love, thoughtfulness, action, service, and above all charity. Jane is a character in the book entitled “Beautiful” by Jenny Phillips which was an answer to my prayers.

I have had the scripture of Moroni 7:44-48 posted on my bathroom mirror for over a year. I just couldn’t get my head wrapped around the meaning of charity. I had been working on this goal for personal progress and didn’t want to move on till I felt I really got it. Not only understand it, but be able to exemplify it. I just wasn’t getting it. And then David passed away and life seemed to go in slow motion. I wanted so desperately to be this person of charity and love; instead I gave way to my natural man. Anger, judgment, bitterness seemed to be creeping into my veins. It wasn’t even about David, it became about everyone around me. Those who I loved the most became target for my thoughts.

As I read this book and discovered the answer was charity, my hopes arose as my desire to understand charity increased. I bought 170 copies and began sharing this story to all the Young Women in my stake, to my friends, and to my family. I did 11 different classes, some in Hawaii, some in Utah, and even one in New York City. Sometimes as I read this book with others I could feel the “pure love of Christ” other times my thoughts would betray me and I felt I could never achieve this “change of heart”. Satan knows when we are weak and will be there ready. I felt like I was constantly being chipped away by him, he knew I was vulnerable. But I kept at it. I slowly started gaining the strength I needed to make the little changes needed. Heavenly Father was always there. I learned to call on him the instant I needed him with “all the energy of my heart”. I learned to flick Satan out the door. The atonement was working in my life and I could catch glimpses of this peace I was working for.

I loved sharing this story. Many were touched by its message. David was my example of charity. Everything he did was to make someone else happy or to fill their needs. I loved showing pictures of him giving train rides, his nieces and nephews playing on the castle, of his goofy faces, of him in his scout uniform, of him serving on his mission, of him marrying in the temple, of him reading to his children, of his Christ like life. I would tell these girls that life is short. That we are so blessed to have such great knowledge of the gospel. And that we like Jane, need to find others to share it with. I believe that we cannot serve two masters; it is time to choose which side we are on and fight for it. It says in verse 46 if ye have not charity, ye are nothing. I DO NOT want to be nothing. “Charity NEVER faileth…for all things must fail”. If all else fails, charity will always conquer.

In the end, I was the one most changed by this message; my heart is full everyday with gratitude. The anger and bitterness are gone and I am filled with love. By no means am I perfect, I just have a “perfect brightness of hope.” Recently I read a scripture in Peter 1:7 that says “that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth”. My trials have been more precious than gold. Even though it has been an incredibly hard year, I would not give it up for anything. I have grown and learned so much.

Love you Dave.