Embracing the Full Weight of Loss

I read a blog by a woman, Molly Jackson, who lost her daughter when she choked on a tiny piece of apple.  Molly has started a blog called "Hope Smiling Brightly, life after loss".  I enjoy reading about her advice on how to heal after someone close to you dies. 

Molly participated in a documentary called "After the End, a Journey through loss to hope."  I saw the preview and it looks pretty great.  Here is what Molly had to say about it:

I hope you'll share his article, and more importantly, the movie, with those you know who might need it. All of us will need it at some point. We all will have to learn to embrace the full weight of loss so we can let it create a space for healing. And we will likely have to do it more than once. 

I'm so thankful for all that my loss has taught me. I'm not thankful for my loss. I'm thankful for what it has taught me. I'm thankful for the opportunity I had to be a part of this fantastic film project. I'm thankful there are people out there willing to share their stories, willing to live and love fully--not in spite of their loss, but because of their loss. I'm thankful there are people with the talents and the drive to create projects like these. I'm just so thankful to know that I am not alone. 

And I agree with Molly, sometimes all you need to be able to keep going is to know that you are not alone. 

Blessings of Compensation

As I think about Tiffany and her two sweet girls, Brooklyn and Zelda now facing the fresh pain of losing their Daddy, I recall a beautiful letter Grandpa Bodell wrote for Joshua and Jasmine soon after David's accident.  There are many words of wisdom here for the sweet little spirits left to grow up without their Dad on earth.  My heart breaks just thinking about the pain they are facing right now.  I know it is hard to imagine, but I think somehow, Heavenly Father blesses these children with added measures of blessings for their trials. If these kids can turn out as great as our Grandpa, then they will be more than okay one day.

I love what Elder Wirthlin had to say about the "Blessings of Compensation" 

"The thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."
You can find the entire talk here:  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng

All my love to Joshua, Brooklyn, Jasmine and Zelda.

 


December 19, 2011

Dear Joshua and Jasmine,

It is with a heavy heart that I approach this but I feel I want to share my love of your Father that I have always had for him. As for all my grandkids it’s hard to tell anyone of the love that I have for each of you. You are special.

You see, I was five years old when my Daddy was taken back to live with our Father in Heaven, so I can understand a little of your hurt and sadness that you are going through, and will go through the rest of your life.

There were times as I grew up that I asked, “Why haven’t I a Father that I can talk to, to help me make up my mind—I need help—I need a father to help. I was blessed to understand why at my young age. I still had someone to go to, to help me find the answers. Yes, I can remember the wet pillows as I would go to sleep. As I would wake for a new day I would find that life was there and I knew that I had two Fathers there to help me through the day— my earthly Father and my Heavenly Father. I grew up knowing that I was able to have two fathers that loved me and cared about what happened to me.

You are blessed, as I was, with a great woman for a mother that loves you. Listen to her. She will be blessed as I was. Your father will always be close to inspire and do what is best for you. Things will come throughout your life that you will look back and see where your Dad has blessed you even though he hasn’t been here on this earth.

Your Dad was kind of like me, your great-grandfather. He liked doing things and building things that would make others happy. He loved to do things that would make kids happy. He was kind to everyone. He hated the bully ones. He didn’t like to see someone get picked on.

I’m thrilled to know that we can go on learning together. Maybe we will be able to build a world together.

I know that the time seems long before this can all happen. But I am sure it will if we can live a “Christ Like” life.

You are so young that it is just words to you now, but as you grow you will understand how much we love you and how much we are “glad you came to our house to live”. Thanks for choosing us. Your Father was one of the best, if for no other reason, and there are many of them, he made it possible for us to have you.

With all my love,

Great Grandpa Bodell