Being Thankful while Grieving

Happy Thanksgiving to all we love and care for! This time of year can be hard to those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. My father in law is helping his dear brother right now who recently lost his wife and he shared this article with us. I really appreciated the sentiment of the author and also the comments that the readers left beind. So if you have some time, click through to the original post and read the comment section.

Its hard to recognize the blessings that come our way through loss, but eventually they are felt. I am thankful for that strength.

Love to all

http://identityrenewed.com/2013/11/21/15-things-i-wish-id-known-about-grief/

After a year of grief, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve also made some mistakes along the way. Today, I jotted down 15 things I wish I’d known about grief when I started my own process.

I pass this onto anyone on the journey.

1. You will feel like the world has ended. I promise, it hasn’t. Life willgo on, slowly. A new normal will come, slowly.

2. No matter how bad a day feels, it is only a day. When you go to sleep crying, you will wake up to a new day.

3. Grief comes in waves. You might be okay one hour, not okay the next. Okay one day, not okay the next day. Okay one month, not okay the next. Learn to go with the flow of what your heart and mind are feeling.

4. It’s okay to cry. Do it often. But it’s okay to laugh, too. Don’t feel guilty for feeling positive emotions even when dealing with loss.

5. Take care of yourself, even if you don’t feel like it. Eat healthily. Work out. Do the things you love. Remember that you are still living.

6. Don’t shut people out. Don’t cut yourself off from relationships. You will hurt yourself and others.

7. No one will respond perfectly to your grief. People–even people you love–will let you down. Friends you thought would be there won’t be there, and people you hardly know will reach out. Be prepared to give others grace. Be prepared to work through hurt and forgiveness at others’ reactions.

8. God will be there for you perfectly. He will never, ever let you down. He will let you scream, cry, and question. Throw all your emotions at Him. He is near to the brokenhearted.

9. Take time to truly remember the person you lost. Write about him or her, go back to all your memories with them, truly soak in all the good times you had with that person. It will help.

10. Facing the grief is better than running. Don’t hide from the pain. If you do, it will fester and grow and consume you.

11. You will ask “Why?” more times than you thought possible, but you may never get an answer. What helps is asking, “How? How can I live life more fully to honor my loved one? How can I love better, how can I embrace others, how can I change and grow because of this?” 

12. You will try to escape grief by getting busy, busy, busy. You will think that if you don’t think about it, it’ll just go away. This isn’t really true. Take time to process and heal.

13. Liquor, sex, drugs, hobbies, work, relationships, etc., will not take the pain away. If you are using anything to try and numb the pain, it will make things worse in the long run. Seek help if you’re dealing with the sorrow in unhealthy ways.

14. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to need people. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.

15. Grief can be beautiful and deep and profound. Don’t be afraid of it. Walk alongside it. You may be surprised at what grief can teach you.

What are things you’ve learned about grief that you wish you’d known when your loss first happened?

"I Will Not Fail Thee, nor Forsake Thee"

President Monson, Oct 2013 Conference:

When the pathway of life takes a cruel turn, there is the temptation to ask the question “Why me?” At times there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, no sunrise to end the night’s darkness. We feel encompassed by the disappointment of shattered dreams and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea, “Is there no balm in Gilead?”¹We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We become impatient for a solution to our problems, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required....

From the bed of pain, from the pillow wet with tears, we are lifted heavenward by that divine assurance and precious promise: “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”⁷ Such comfort is priceless....

Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before.

This should be our purpose—to persevere and endure, yes, but also to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and sorrow. Were it not for challenges to overcome and problems to solve, we would remain much as we are, with little or no progress toward our goal of eternal life. 

Celebrating You

Happy Birthday Dear Brother. 
We aren't celebrating today quite like we did last year, but I'm going to be sure to do some random acts of kindness in your name.  I finally finished our memory book all about you.  You have so many friends and family who love you, and try to be better each day because of what we learned from you. 

 

It was hard for everyone to try and capture everything about you , as you are impossible to put into words.  But, we did our best and it will be a treasure to look at photos and read all of our memories of you. 

 



 

It goes without saying that I wish you were here, to celebrate 34 years since your birth.  Look at how cute we were so many years ago.  I love you with all my heart and will spend today celebrating life and all that it has to offer. 

 

much love,

Laura





Before and After, by Jimae

Before and After

by Jimae Kenney, Mom

Forever the demarcation

In the life that I call mine

The day to day occurrences

Before and after on that line.

Before we were a family

Held together by joy and love.

Our day to day activities

Appreciation for gifts from above.

Before I was always focused

On what to do today-

What time do I have to be there

And what do I need to say?

I felt like I was in the service

Of my family and fellow man.

I was good at what I committed to

Completing tasks and caring for others

Almost faster than I ran.

After life was forever changed

We were still a family unit

But the depth and breadth of our understanding

Were magnified in our comprehension of it.

The heavy scent of flowers-

The sounds of bagpipe strains-

The cold and ice of winter

Bring back the empty pains.

Especially now at Halloween

Your favorite time of year-

The tricks and jokes you were up to

Leaving us all to fear.

Oh the memories of your spirit

How caring and loving you were.

And now you’re gone we hold inside

The warmth of your strength so sure.

And with that comes a peace,

A stillness in our hearts-

Though broken, they are stilled

A song that cries within our parts.

Before I had thirty two years

Now, after is only two

My continuum of understanding

And memories of you

Encourage me to continue

To go forth each and every day

With renewed understanding of the plan of life

And constantly in my heart I pray

For understanding of the truth

Of knowledge that is our sacrifice in seeing-

As we release our beloved son To the Heavens

Of our father and brother of greater being.

So, is this how our Heavenly Father felt

When he gave his only begotten son?

Did the grief and pain underlie

All that is ever done?

After

So, now today, I often wonder

Did I teach you all that you needed to know

To get through time and eternity

And what to do so you will continue to grow?

Did you learn what you needed to be?

Truth be told, upon that day –

Two years ago our life was forever altered

Now all of us can say

We are to take these things we know-

Those things we need to do

To be the people on this earth

To act in place of you.