Before and After, by Jimae

Before and After

by Jimae Kenney, Mom

Forever the demarcation

In the life that I call mine

The day to day occurrences

Before and after on that line.

Before we were a family

Held together by joy and love.

Our day to day activities

Appreciation for gifts from above.

Before I was always focused

On what to do today-

What time do I have to be there

And what do I need to say?

I felt like I was in the service

Of my family and fellow man.

I was good at what I committed to

Completing tasks and caring for others

Almost faster than I ran.

After life was forever changed

We were still a family unit

But the depth and breadth of our understanding

Were magnified in our comprehension of it.

The heavy scent of flowers-

The sounds of bagpipe strains-

The cold and ice of winter

Bring back the empty pains.

Especially now at Halloween

Your favorite time of year-

The tricks and jokes you were up to

Leaving us all to fear.

Oh the memories of your spirit

How caring and loving you were.

And now you’re gone we hold inside

The warmth of your strength so sure.

And with that comes a peace,

A stillness in our hearts-

Though broken, they are stilled

A song that cries within our parts.

Before I had thirty two years

Now, after is only two

My continuum of understanding

And memories of you

Encourage me to continue

To go forth each and every day

With renewed understanding of the plan of life

And constantly in my heart I pray

For understanding of the truth

Of knowledge that is our sacrifice in seeing-

As we release our beloved son To the Heavens

Of our father and brother of greater being.

So, is this how our Heavenly Father felt

When he gave his only begotten son?

Did the grief and pain underlie

All that is ever done?

After

So, now today, I often wonder

Did I teach you all that you needed to know

To get through time and eternity

And what to do so you will continue to grow?

Did you learn what you needed to be?

Truth be told, upon that day –

Two years ago our life was forever altered

Now all of us can say

We are to take these things we know-

Those things we need to do

To be the people on this earth

To act in place of you.