David's House

I don't know how many of you knew the address before or now even after his death, but that is the address here at Davids house. Thats the thing, this is still very much DAVID'S house. It's harder than I had anticipated it being. The little apartment down here where David must have PERSONALLY poured hours into making these little alcoves and arches. There is no "value" in that where someone would pay more for it for rent, but its something that Dave did cause he enjoyed putting time and effort into it and wanted to do the best job he could.

David was my best friend, and I'd like to say that in some ways we knew each other better than anyone else on earth. As David looks down on our families in each of our situations I can feel his love for us. But there is something else as well. With his new perspective, he is able to better understand each of our situations, and not be constrained with physiological responses of adrenaline, or dopamine chemically changing our moods to how we react in certain situations. But even setting that aside, I often find myself thinking "If Dave were watching this all happen in a little room off to the side, I know exactly what he would say right now."

I'll tell you what he would say. First, I know with all the praise and admiration he gets he would humble himself greatly. He made mistakes, and he always did his best to rectify him. He would never say "I'm the best at talking to people about their lives" or "Ya, I really did a good job of trying to improve every aspect of life around me." He would just say "I'm just another guy trying to make the best of the mortal life I've been given." He wasn't a perfect husband or father. He wasn't a perfect brother. He wasn't a perfect friend. Etc. I find it interesting though that now that he's gone, I find it MUCH harder to remember anything negative, and of course I don't spend time trying.

He would say that this is something we will all grow from, that the experiences we are going through now are very necessary for the people we are to become in the future. He would want us to remember our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ in all our doings. He would want us to share our love with as many people around us as possible.

He would say he wants us to put worries and pettiness aside. A lot of the things we may get wrapped up in don't matter, and we need to try to focus on what is important.

The person I would usually talk about this stuff to happened to die a little over a month ago, and I'm really finding it hard to come to terms with the fact I'll not be able to tell him how much I personally appreciated the time we spent together, not as Brothers, but as best friends. I'd like to say that he knew exactly how I felt, and I'm sure he does. If the situation was reversed, I would know how much he loved me, as well as how much all of you love me. But that doesn't make it any easier. I just really wish I could have that one last talk with him and tell him how much I looked up to him and always will.

I want to take this opportunity to tell my family how much I love them. I'm sorry we have to go through this, but I will say this, that I'm glad all the years we have put into becoming a closer family than is traditionally found in the world. In the past I remember thinking "Wow! my family got really lucky that none of have fallen away from the church, or have singled themselves out by turning their backs on the family." The strength that Mom and Dad have put into building this family is finally being put to the test as we struggle to endure what is quite possibly the biggest overall trial for all of us. Maybe not the biggest trial in each of our individual lives, but the biggest one in which we all feel the pain and loss together. I really hope they realize the difference they have made in each of our lives. I also hope each of my siblings and their families realize just how much of a difference they have made in mine.