Pages

Friday, March 30, 2012

His Grace is Sufficient

Learning more about our relationship with the Savior will help all who have known the pain of losing a loved one. May I suggest this incredible video to add to our testimonies.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

100 (or more) Reasons I Love David Kenney


by David's Aunt Dixie

Childhood
Legos
Rachel & David in Blue Chair
Video Games
Kids are Music
Santa – Hot Fudge Sundae*
Games
Pranks-Joker
Sink Sprayer*
Puppy Dog Eyes
Little Smile – Smirk
Tell Jokes
Mouse – Screaming*
Bodell Kid – Love Peace

Things He Made
Castle
Play House – Jimae Basement
Swords
Stilts
Artwork
His House
Always Building Something
Train with Grandpa
Wind Cart
Tires Across Pond

Teen
Home Alone
Friends – Matt and Scott – Witty*
Eric – Blind*
Creative Dates
Lagoon – Sky Coaster*
Eagle Scout- Rocking Horses*
Girls
Girl Talk
Sweet 16

Clear Creek Ranch
Hiking
Flying Glider
Barn Dance Leader
House Hold Chores*
Game Leader
#1 Northfork Road
Haunted Woods*
Girls Camps loved him
Gus!*
Cleaning
Sledding – Awesome*
Orderville- Parades*
Good to Camden – Bono*
Gold Rush
Drive Tractor
Help me up on Water Tower*
Reading Scriptures*
Always Sang at Round up*

Things he tried to get out of at the ranch
Spraying Runway Weeds
Thistle
Pond Parties

Who he is
A CREATOR
Fun – Always
Director
Actor
Special Effects
Son
Brother
Nephew
Cousin
Grandson
Friend
Missionary
Uncle
Husband
Father
Builder
Grateful
Thinker
Smart
Student
Genius
Made Everyone Feel Special
Pure in Heart
Spiritual
Love
Never Complain
Never talked bad about anyone
Persistent
Humble
Good for a Hug
Dependable
Funny
Good Listener
Priesthood Holder
Quite, but Strong
Funny Hats
Straight A Student
Very Christlike – Color Code*
Runner
Respectful

Random
Love to Make me Scream
Loved my cooking – rice krispies*
Blessing he gave to me*
War Games
Kind and friendly to Dale*
Cristina – River – Lava*
Gave my room to him at reunion*

Most of All
Joshie
Jasmine
Cristina

Beginning to Cope with Tragedy

Dixie came across this article at Oprah.com and we thought it would fit well on the blog. All of these steps point to the idea we had of turning David's death into an opportunity to better ourselves and serve others the way David would have done. If you haven't yet set a goal to honor him yet, please take time this week to ponder on ideas. 

1. Make room in your life for healing.
If you are facing a tragedy or major life challenge, give yourself plenty of room to heal. Back off on your commitments. Put volunteer activities on hold. Make extreme self-care a top priority. Ask for more help than you think you need. Don't make any major life decisions. 

Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Remember that self-pity is a normal part of the healing process. Give yourself a limited amount of time to feel sorry for yourself. You might curl up in your favorite pajamas with your favorite comfort food and have a good cry. It's important to make space for the pain. If you don't deal with it, it waits for you. Get the support you need to heal your pain so you can begin to move on with your life. 

Most of all—have enormous compassion for yourself!
2. Attach meaning to the tragedy.
Regardless of the tragedy, you can decide right now to make this event a defining moment in your life. It may not make sense, and you may feel angry or deeply saddened, but making this decision can direct the course of your life in a more positive way. The simple decision to proclaim that this event will be a defining moment can be enough to make a huge difference.
3. Reclaim your power.
At some point during your healing process, there will come a time when you decide to reclaim your power and shift from feeling like a victim to being a victor. How will you use this tragedy to improve your life? How has the healing made you a better person? Refuse to think of yourself as a victim, take responsibility for your life, and you're ready for the next step.
4. Find the gift.
Behind every tragedy there is a gift. You may not see it at first, but a tragedy can provide enormous opportunity. For example, you may decide to completely re-evaluate the direction of your life or use the support you receive from loved ones as a way to strengthen your relationships. Most people find that living through tragedy allows them to tap into an inner strength that they never knew existed. By connecting with yourself in this way, you'll find a reservoir of courage and creativity that leads you to your authentic self. When the time is right, the gift will reveal itself—if you make a point to look for it.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Beginning-to-Cope-with-Tragedy/4#ixzz1qKnV8Baw

Monday, March 26, 2012

Maundy Thursday

I read this about Maundy Thursday on a blog today and thought it was a great idea to celebrate this special Easter Season, especially as I try to honor the lives of two of my brothers this year, David and my Savior, Jesus Christ. 



Easter is coming! My favorite holiday! This year it falls on Sunday, April 8th—just under two weeks away. While there are many fun traditions associated with Easter that are carried out in our culture such as dying eggs and hiding baskets that symbolically teach us about the reason we celebrate Easter, there are many other traditions that few people know about that can give our Easter celebrations more meaning. One of these is Maundy Thursday.

Maundy Thursday falls on the Thursday before Easter. It is also known in some places as Holy Thursday, Covenant Thursday, or the Thursday of Mysteries. But I like the term Maundy Thursday best because Maundy comes from the Latin word mandatum which means “command” and refers to the commandment Jesus gave on the last Thursday of His life: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). The old command had been to “Love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39), but His last commandment set a new standard--love others as He loved.

Traditionally, in certain parts of the world, on Maundy Thursday a Maundy Ceremony is performed where people wash the feet of the poor in commemoration of Jesus washing the feet of His apostles and instructing them to serve others, which also took place on Maundy Thursday. Over the years the traditions of how to serve others changed from washing feet to the giving of Maundy Money to the poor. However it is celebrated, Maundy Thursday is about following the Savior’s example of serving others and giving of oneself with love.

So as Maundy Thursday approaches (April 5th) if you don’t already celebrate the day as part of your commemoration of the Atonement and Resurrection of the Savior, it could add to the meaning of your Easter to start a Maundy Thursday tradition of your own. You don’t have to wash feet or give money, but serve others in any way you can and see how it enhances your Easter celebration.


I'll be thinking of a special way to serve others on Maundy Thursday, how about you?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

God Will Lift Us Up

This video really touched me and reminded me of David's great attitude and of all the service he did for others.
  I also wanted to share a quote from Richard G. Scott.
"The challenges you face, the growth experiences you encounter, are intended to be temporary scenes played out on the stage of a life of continuing peace and happiness. Sadness, heartache, and disappointment are events in life. It is not intended that they be the substance of life. I do not minimize how hard some of these events can be. When the lesson you are to learn is very important, trials can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining focus of everything you do. Your life should be wondrously rewarding. It is your understanding and application of the laws of God that will give your life glorious purpose as you ascend and conquer the difficulties of life. That perspective keeps challenges confined to their proper place- stepping-stones to further growth and attainment." Richard G. Scott, " The Atonement Can Secure Your Peace and Happiness," Liahona, Nov. 2006, 40-42

 I'm so grateful that we have trials in our lives and I'm super thankful for my family who is there to help me through this life! :D

Monday, March 19, 2012

Doors of Death

 I found this great talk on death that I wanted to share with you guys. :)

                           


Russell M. Nelson

Doors of Death


This morning Elder Boyd K. Packer spoke of the “fountains of life.” This afternoon, I should like to speak of the “doors of death.” Both are crucial components of life.
Recently at the funeral of a friend, I visited with two distinguished brothers—former surgical colleagues of mine—whose lovely companions had both passed away. They said they were going through the most difficult period of their lives, adjusting to the almost unbearable loss of their partners. These wonderful men then told of their cooking breakfast for each other once a week—sharing that rotation with their sister—trying to lessen their loneliness imposed by the doors of death.
Death separates “the spirit and the body [which] are the soul of man.” (D&C 88:15.) That separation evokes pangs of sorrow and shock among those left behind. The hurt is real. Only its intensity varies. Some doors are heavier than others. The sense of tragedy may be related to age. Generally the younger the victim, the greater the grief. Yet even when the elderly or infirm have been afforded merciful relief, their loved ones are rarely ready to let go. The only length of life that seems to satisfy the longings of the human heart is life everlasting.

Mourning

Irrespective of age, we mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. It is a natural response in complete accord with divine commandment: “Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die.” (D&C 42:45.)
Moreover, we can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.

Eternal Perspective

Eternal perspective provides peace “which passeth all understanding.” (Philip. 4:7.) In speaking at a funeral of a loved one, the Prophet Joseph Smith offered this admonition: “When we lose a near and dear friend, upon whom we have set our hearts, it should be a caution unto us. … Our affections should be placed upon God and His work, more intensely than upon our fellow beings.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 216.)
Life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. Prior to our birth, we dwelled as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. There we eagerly anticipated the possibility of coming to earth and obtaining a physical body. Knowingly we wanted the risks of mortality, which would allow the exercise of agency and accountability. “This life [was to become] a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God.” (Alma 12:24.) But we regarded the returning home as the best part of that long-awaited trip, just as we do now. Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket. Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through—and not around—the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live. (See 2 Cor. 6:9.) As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven.

Physical Death

The writer of Ecclesiastes said, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
“A time to be born, and a time to die.” (Eccl. 3:1–2; see also Alma 12:27.)
Think of the alternative. If all sixty-nine billion people who have ever lived on earth were still here, imagine the traffic jam! And we could own virtually nothing and scarcely make any responsible decisions.

Plan of Happiness

Scriptures teach that death is essential to happiness: “Now behold, it was not expedient that man should be reclaimed from this temporal death, for that would destroy the great plan of happiness.” (Alma 42:8; italics added; see also 2 Ne. 9:6.)
Our limited perspective would be enlarged if we could witness the reunion on the other side of the veil, when doors of death open to those returning home. Such was the vision of the psalmist who wrote, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” (Ps. 116:15.)

Spiritual Death

But there is another type of separation known in scripture as spiritual death. (See 2 Ne. 9:12; Alma 12:16; Alma 42:9; Hel. 14:16, 18.) It “is defined as a state of spiritual alienation from God.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1954–56, 2:217.) Thus, one can be very much alive physically but dead spiritually.
Spiritual death is more likely when goals are unbalanced toward things physical. Paul explained this concept to the Romans: “If ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.” (Rom. 8:13.)
If physical death should strike before moral wrongs have been made right, opportunity for repentance will have been forfeited. Thus, “the [real] sting of death is sin.” (1 Cor. 15:56.)
Even the Savior cannot save us in our sins. He will redeem us from our sins, but only upon condition of our repentance. We are responsible for our own spiritual survival or death. (See Rom. 8:13–14; Hel. 14:18; D&C 29:41–45.)

Coping with Trials

Physical and spiritual trials provide continuing challenges in life. Each of you could provide illustrations from personal experience. Many of you, for instance, are at the twilight of life and endure long and difficult days. You know well the meaning of that divine injunction to “endure to the end.” (See Matt. 24:13; Mark 13:13; 1 Ne. 13:37; 1 Ne. 22:31; 2 Ne. 31:16; 2 Ne. 33:4; Omni 1:26; 3 Ne. 15:9; D&C 14:7; D&C 18:22; D&C 24:8.)
The Savior of the world repeatedly asked that we pattern our lives after His. (See John 13:15; John 14:6; 1 Pet. 2:21; 2 Ne. 31:9, 16; 3 Ne. 18:16; 3 Ne. 27:27.) So we must endure trials—as did He. “Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered.” (Heb. 5:8.)
When hardship heaps its heavy load upon us, good may yet be gleaned. Shakespeare so wrote:
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head.
(As You Like It, act 2, scene 1.)
The Lord’s expression is even more explicit: “After much tribulation come the blessings.” (D&C 58:4.)

Postmortal Life

Mortality, temporary as it is, is terminated by the doors of death. Questions then come to searching minds of those left behind. “Where is my loved one now?” “What happens after death?” While many questions cannot be fully answered with available knowledge, much is known.

Paradise

The first station in postmortal life is named paradise. Alma wrote: “Concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me … that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, … are taken home to that God who gave them life. …
“The spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace.” (Alma 40:11–12.)

Resurrection and Immortality

Some facetiously state that nothing is as permanent as death. Not so! The grip of physical death is temporary. It began with the fall of Adam; it ended with the atonement of Jesus the Christ. The waiting period in paradise is temporary, too. It ends with the resurrection. From the Book of Mormon we learn that the “paradise of God must deliver up the spirits of the righteous, and the grave deliver up the body of the righteous; and the spirit and the body is restored to itself again, and all men become incorruptible, and immortal, and they are living souls.” (2 Ne. 9:13.)
A few years ago, our stake president and his wife had a wonderful son taken in his youthful prime because of an automobile accident. We are consoled by the knowledge that the very laws that could not allow his broken body to survive here are the same eternal laws which the Lord will employ at the time of the Resurrection, when that body “shall be restored to [its] proper and perfect frame.” (Alma 40:23; see also Alma 11:42–45.)
The Lord who created us in the first place surely has power to do it again. The same necessary elements now in our bodies will still be available—at His command. The same unique genetic code now embedded in each of our living cells will still be available to format new ones then. The miracle of the resurrection, wondrous as it will be, is marvelously matched by the miracle of our creation in the first place.

Judgment

Our resurrection will not be an end but a new beginning. It will prepare us for judgment by the Lord, who said, “As I have been lifted up [upon the cross] by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works.” (3 Ne. 27:14.)
Even before we approach that threshold of the eternal court of justice, we know who will personally preside: “The keeper of the gate is the Holy One of Israel; and he employeth no servant there; and there is none other way save it be by the gate; for he cannot be deceived, for the Lord God is his name.
“And whoso knocketh, to him will he open.” (2 Ne. 9:41–42.)

Family Ties

Loving relationships continue beyond the doors of death and judgment. Family ties endure because of sealings in the temple. Their importance cannot be overstated.
I remember vividly an experience I had as a passenger in a small two-propeller airplane. One of its engines suddenly burst open and caught on fire. The propeller of the flaming engine was starkly stilled. As we plummeted in a steep spiral dive toward the earth, I expected to die. Some of the passengers screamed in hysterical panic. Miraculously, the precipitous dive extinguished the flames. Then, by starting up the other engine, the pilot was able to stabilize the plane and bring us down safely.
Throughout that ordeal, though I “knew” death was coming, my paramount feeling was that I was not afraid to die. I remember a sense of returning home to meet ancestors for whom I had done temple work. I remember my deep sense of gratitude that my sweetheart and I had been sealed eternally to each other and to our children, born and reared in the covenant. I realized that our marriage in the temple was my most important accomplishment. Honors bestowed upon me by men could not approach the inner peace provided by sealings performed in the house of the Lord.
That harrowing experience consumed but a few minutes, yet my entire life flashed before my mind. Having had such rapid recall when facing death, I do not doubt the scriptural promise of “perfect remembrance” when facing judgment. (Alma 5:18; see also Alma 11:43.)

Eternal Life

After judgment comes the possibility of eternal life—the kind of life that our Heavenly Father lives. His celestial realm has been compared with the glory of the sun. (See 1 Cor. 15:41; D&C 76:96.) It is available to all who prepare for it, the requirements of which have been clearly revealed: “Ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” (2 Ne. 31:20; see also John 17:3.)

Time to Prepare

Meanwhile, we who tarry here have a few precious moments remaining “to prepare to meet God.” (Alma 34:32.) Unfinished business is our worst business. Perpetual procrastination must yield to perceptive preparation. Today we have a little more time to bless others—time to be kinder, more compassionate, quicker to thank and slower to scold, more generous in sharing, more gracious in caring.
Then when our turn comes to pass through the doors of death, we can say as did Paul: “The time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.” (2 Tim. 4:6–7.)
We need not look upon death as an enemy. With full understanding and preparation, faith supplants fear. Hope displaces despair. The Lord said, “Fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.” (D&C 101:36.) He bestowed this gift: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)
As a special witness of Jesus Christ, I testify that He lives! I also testify that the veil of death is very thin. I know by experiences too sacred to relate that those who have gone before are not strangers to leaders of this Church. To us and to you, our loved ones may be just as close as the next room—separated only by the doors of death.
With that assurance, brothers and sisters, love life! Cherish each moment as a blessing from God. (See Mosiah 2:21.) Live it well—even to your loftiest potential. Then the anticipation of death shall not hold you hostage. With the help of the Lord, your deeds and desires will qualify you to receive everlasting joy, glory, immortality, and eternal lives. For this I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Happy Birthday of Eternity Grandma Bodell

Grandma looking at Grandpa's picture while he was away at war.


Grandpa looking at Grandma the day before she passed.

"The nearer I approach the end, the clearer I hear around me the immortal symphonies of the worlds which invite me. It is marvelous yet simple. For half a century I have been writing my thoughts in prose, verse, history, drama, romance, tradition, satire, ode and song - I have tried all; but I feel that I have not said a thousandth part of that which is in me. When I go down to the grave I can say like many others, "I have finished my day's work," but I cannot say "I have finished my life's work"; my day's work will begin the next morning. The tomb is not a blind alley. It is an open thoroughfare. It closes in the twilight to open in the dawn. My work is only beginning; my work is hardly above its foundation. I would gladly see it mounting forever. The thirst for the infinite proves infinity."
~Victor Hugo

Grandma Bodell is now attending her party in Paradise. She is the baby of the family, and finally after 99 years, their family is together again. She gets to finally meet the older sister she never knew and be reunited with the brother whom she looked up to but lost at an early age. I'm sure she was so happy to finally hug her sweet mother again and have her daddy's big arms wrap around her - something she has missed for so long! 

We will miss her on this earth, but are glad she is free from her earthly body. I know David was there to greet her and help show her the things he has learned already. Hopefully she will deliver our messages to him and let him know how much we love him and miss him too. May we all look forward to a similar sweet reunion with our families when our time comes.

Happy Birthday of Eternity Grandma!




Sunday, March 18, 2012

" I can't, my dad's watching!" :)

 My dad told me a story about a young boy whose dad had died. The boy's friends wanted him to make a bad choice. The boy told his friends, " I can't, my dads watching!" :) I'm glad we have David watching over us and helping us always!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

From the Ensign February 2012

"After I cried to Heavenly Father for what seemed to be hours, a transition started to take place inside of me, and I felt Heavenly Father's Spirit. For a moment my tears subsided as I absorbed His love piercing my soul. I knew He understood my sadness, and that allowed me to feel comfortable enough to cry even longer...As I buried my head in what I imagined to be Heavenly Father's lap, I knew he was willing to comfort me for as long as I needed....Through faith in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, you are not alone."

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

To Josh and Jasmine

This is a letter from Amber (who knew David well in his high school years) to the kids. She is a convert to the church and was baptized while friends with David. She wrote this to help Josh and Jasmine learn more about their dad when they get older.

 Josh and Jasmine-

 Your dad is one of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to know. He taught me so much and was so important to me and my life. He will forever have a special place in my heart. Your dad taught me about the gospel of Jesus Christ – he helped me in a time when all I could see was darkness. He showed the light of hope that comes from knowing the Savior. He changed my life, he helped me find my testimony. I was the first person he baptized, and I will be forever grateful to him for not being afraid to share his amazing testimony with me.

Your dad has the biggest heart. He loved everyone, and showed it in a million ways. By always being there to talk to, by lending a helping hand even if it wasn’t easy, by befriending those whom everyone else didn’t see In high school it is easy to get wrapped up in all of your own personal problems and drama, but Dave was never thinking about himself. He always thought of others. He knew that sometimes everyone feels like they are just a lost face in a sea of many, but he made it his goal to know as many names of the people in the school as he could so that when he walked down the hall he could smile and say hi to everyone. Just the simple act of someone saying hi and knowing your name can brighten your entire day.

He always went out of his way to find those who didn’t quite fit in, and were always left out, and he made them know that he cared and would be their friend. He taught me so much in this aspect. He taught me to not be afraid to approach people I don’t know, and to treat everyone as a friend. He taught me how to see the needs of others and how to meet them. It always amazed me how willing he was to serve others, especially when it was hard or inconvenient. He served others, and he did it in such an amazing way that made each person feel so special and loved. He didn’t serve out of obligation but pure love of others. Can’t you imagine Jesus being the same way?

He loved his family so much. There isn’t anything he would not do for any member of his family. There is a bond and love there that is so strong. – it is so rare to find another like it. You are so lucky to be in this family. It is eternal. It is powerful. It is made up entirely of love. You are also so lucky to have a mom who has such strong faith and an amazing testimony. She will be your rock on earth. Your dad will be your anchor in heaven. You have the most amazing aunts and uncles – who allowed me to join their family when I needed it most. They are so loving and caring, and they will always take care of you.

Your dad had the zaniest sense of humor. He loved to make everyone laugh with his goofy antics and great laugh. I think this was one of his many gifts in helping others feel comfortable. Your dad was so smart and always worked so hard to learn more. He had such ambition and always set goals, large and small, which he always strived to meet. He would never be satisfied with his work unless he knew that he had done his very best. He didn’t know how to be lazy. He loved to learn.

Heavenly Father is so proud of your dad, and had some very important work for him to do in heaven. You must know that it has to be so ultra important, because He took him so early in his life and took him from you. But even though your dad isn’t here on earth, he will be with you everyday of your life – loving you and guiding you. He wants you to be happy and to love this life and all the people in it, as he did. Remember to lean on your Heavenly Father, trust in the Holy Ghost, love like your Savior and know that all of your prayers are heard. Your dad is listening too.

He loves you. Your mom loves you. Jesus loves you. Your dad was deeply loved by so many, and all of those who loved him love you too. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

 Love, a friend of your dad’s,
Amber Judkins Williams

Monday, March 12, 2012

Undeserved Suffering and the Atonement




From the book "I Need Thee Every Hour" by David P. Vandagriff

"Jesus Christ is the God of broken people, the God of the hopeless . . . the God of those who weep without ceasing. He is also and always will be the God of fresh starts, the God of new lives, the God of inner peace. His greatest ministry is where there is the greatest pain. There is no place so dark that He will not enter and bring a gentle and warming light.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28)

"Whose wounds and scars does Christ carry on His body? Whose pains did He endure? They are our wounds, our scars, our pains. We cannot tell Him anything about our suffering that He does not already know in the deepest part of His soul."

Sunday WILL come

Just a cool video I wanted to share with you guys.


I Look To You


 As I lay me down,
Heaven hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all.

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

About to lose my breathe,
There's no more fighting left,
Sinking to rise no more,
Searching for that open door.

And every road that
I've taken Lead to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm going to make it.
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

My levees are broken
My walls have come
Tumbling down on me

The rain is falling.
Defeat is calling.
I need you to set me free.

Take me far away from the battle.
I need you.
Shine on me.

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

3 Months!

   3 long months with out my Dave. Today i have been thinking about him more than normal, maybe cause it happened 3 months ago and same day. We went to cut Joshua's hair today, while the girl was cutting his hair Joshua said: My daddy did the same a long time ago.
Girl: Oh really? Why is he not doing it this time?
Joshua: 'cause he got very hurt when his car crashed and his body stop working.
    Every day is constant reminder, all the chores i do brings me memories, when i hear a boy calling his daddy it hurts my heart, my kids wont have that opportunity, and i feel so helpless.
    My day pretty much is the same now.
I wake up sometimes at 8 or 9. My kids are already eating cereal and then i start cleaning, Lexi is gone to work and i make double breakfast for my kiddos. One hour has gone and i find myself on my bed thinking on all the plans we had, i feel sad, i feel up set, i feel angry, time to get off the bed and stop my kids from them to screaming each other. I look at the clock, half hour more, i do laundry, i call my mom and i pretend all is well, another hour with my mom on the phone, say good bye and them start the argument with Josh about the importance of going to school and how proud daddy is. Take Josh to the bus stop, look at my son while he gets on the bus, my heart again wants to stop beating and i wish my Dave was here to see his boy growing. Jasmine now is upset with mom, i am not her best friend anymore, she does not like me and i teach her that those are not nice words to say, looks like now i have to make twice the work when i have to explain them. Time for her to take a nap, she is asleep, mom gets her quiet time, i go to my computer, look at pictures and videos, my body now is getting tired i start crying and i feel angry again, i go to my closet, kneel down and say a pray, get up and find my way to continue with the chores at home. Josh is back from school, now is 4 oclock, the hard time is circle around, time for me to leave the house cause my reality says i have to go, get my kids ready and start driving. While i am driving i find myself even more upset, i start hating everything around me including me. I ask now those questions that before i was afraid to ask like WHY?, WHY HIM?, he was a perfect Dad and husband, he was doing the right things and spending time with us, why did Heavenly Father took away the opportunity of Dave seen his kids grow up and the opportunity for him to grow old with me? Why? He was doing a fantastic job at work, teaching all the company better ways to save money and make a better product. Why? and more and more Why! I don't know and i don't want to get too deep and lose my mind again.
   By the end of the day, when my world seems to collapse, i see lots of angels helping me, teaching me how to get back on track and i find myself smiling cause a good friend of mine tells me and i am strong enough to show everybody the type of warrior i am. He holds my hand and say: I hope some day Heavenly Father gives me the opportunity to hold your hand and take you back to your David and make sure you will be happy with him and your kids. I hope one day you will give me the chance to show you how much i care for you and the kids and how much i love you.
    My heart is happy again, the hope is alive, the memories ahead are real and can happen. I thank my Lord for the blessings i have in my life, specially for the new feelings i have for this friend, feelings that make me happy, the joy i have when we laugh together and the peace i feel when we read the scriptures and the clear path i have to follow, nobody will replace my Dave, but i want to be happy! he wants me happy and i want to show my kids how much Daddy love us, we miss him crazy, but each day we get a little better. Love you all...

Friday, March 9, 2012

from Aunt Ann

three long months today....I wish I had something profound or uplifting to share, I really don't, so instead I'll share an email we got from our dear Aunt Ann this morning:

I've just spent the last 2 hours reading, listening and crying through David's blog. You all write so beautifully about your thoughts and memories and daily struggles with David's loss, which has changed all of our lives forever.

There are so many things that I remember about David:
*The way he would cuddle and pat my back when I held him when he was a toddler.
*When he would come stay at my house on 13th East as a little boy - always wanting to know the hows and whys of everything.
*Sitting next to him on the plane returning from his mission when he admitted a little anxiety about how to greet the "old girlfriend".
*Whenever I hear "Free Falling" on the radio, I smile as I remember the Christmas Eve party where he played and sang three verses, and wanted to know if we wanted to hear more.


*And lastly, I'm am so grateful for the Sunday dinner he and Cris invited us to last fall when we toured the house, apartment, backyard and watched old videos - what a treasured memory!


Thank you for sharing and baring your souls. The blessing of such a wonderful and close family is the strength and comfort shared, but it makes the hole even more painful.
I love you all,
Ann

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Generations


This painting is called "Generations" by an LDS artist named Kerri Guthrie. Below is the "story behind the art" information. What do you think? Close this window

"After my father died, I received a great desire to paint a picture of the Spirit World, a gift of peace for my family and yours. On the right side, in the lower area by the tunnel, family and friends are saying goodbye to their loved ones who are going to earth to be born. On the left side, family and friends gather together to welcome their loved ones back home into the Spirit World; They have come through the tunnel of darkness into the light."

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

From Hannah

I cried in my room tonight. I guess my emotions couldn't stay inside me anymore. I haven't truly cried since the funeral. That was almost 3 months ago. I decided I should read the blog that mom and aunt Laura made. As I was reading the posts and watching the videos, I started crying because so many people touched my heart with the messages they gave. My emotions were immediately stored after the week of the funeral, because I was feeling mostly angry at my Heavenly Father. I never liked that feeling. I stored my emotions because I was scared of what I would feel. After a while, I found that what I was doing wasn't healthy and I needed to stop storing them. I finally  found that its ok to cry and be angry, sad, happy, relieved. To ask the question "why".  I think the reality of losing my Uncle David has finally kicked in. I love and miss him so much.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

A Thought for Thursday

"Birth [is] a sleep and a forgetting . . . death [is] an awakening and a remembering."
"The concept of death is a change in life, not the end of life."
~Paul H. Dunn

"The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity."
~Seneca

"A man is not completely born until he is dead."
~Benjamin Franklin

"Let us accustom ourselves to regard death as a form of life which we do not yet understand."
~Maurice Maeterlinck

With all that said, it is still impossible to not feel sad when we think of our David. But that's OK and important too! Elder Dunn also says in his book "Don't try to fight the sorrow you feel. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life."

I personally LOVE the "birthday of eternity" title. Can we say that instead of  "the anniversary of his death"???