Journal entry

Journal Entry Written on 1-21-12

On December 9^th my Brother-in-law was taken from us in a tragic car accident. One brother taken from this life at the tender age of 32 leaving his beautiful wife Cristina and his son Joshy and his two year old daughter Jasmine, leaving behind all his dreams and plans of a full life with his family.

On December 12^th, my brother was put into jail for actions derived from an addiction to pornography.  One brother seeing his first picture of pornography on the road home from kindergarten, seeing it while playing in some trees, seeing it in an investigators home while on his mission.  Praying daily and attending the temple.  Thinking he was strong enough to overcome the thoughts and images on his own.

One brother whipped and spit upon.  Mocked and jeered at.  One brother bleeding from every pore pleading on our behalf.  Hung on a cross and pierced with a sword.

Each of us in need of the atonement.  Each of us to rely on our brother.  Each of us sent to this earth to experience.  What is your experience?  Anger? Divorce? Addiction? Pride? Illness? Death? What is your experience you were sent here to overcome?

None of us are exempt from trial.

One brother sent here to deceive us.  To whisper to us that we are inadequate, to tell us we can overcome on our own.  To give us shame, doubt, and fear.  To give us embarrassment.  To keep us in the same pattern of addiction and self loathy, and sadness.

If we could only turn our lives over to our Heavenly Father, to trust him, to follow him.  We would be healed.  If we could be healed, we could aid in the healing of those around us.  We could progress (I actually wrote…We could stop banging our head against the wall.)

The atonement gives comfort for a life taken too soon.  The atonement gives hope to the one who loves his wife and children facing divorce, hoping to overcome ones addiction.

There is no shame in coming forth and asking for your Savior to remove this cup.  Only with his stripes are we healed.