River Flows in You

Back in early December last year, my daughter Hannah was preparing to learn a piano piece for an audition that was coming up in January. The song she had chosen was this beautiful lyrical piece called "River Flows in You" by Yirma. She had been working on it for several days and it was starting to come together. On December 9th I got an early call from my sister Nicole informing me that David had gotten in another accident and it seemed really serious this time. The next few hours was filled with worry, phone calls, and prayer.

Throughout the morning Hannah kept working on her song. As I would come out of my room from time to time to update my husband and kids what we were finding out I would hear this song. It was so beautiful and soothing - yet my world was not right. At one point, I was on the phone with Laura to tell her that many people I had talked to were putting Davids name on temple rolls across the country, she answered the phone quickly to say the doctor had just come in the room to tell us what he knows and let me stay on the phone to hear.

I could hear Hannah's music coming from downstairs, so I went to my closet to close the door and have complete silence while I tried to listen in. It was while in my closet, kneeling on the floor with my ear peeled to the phone, that I heard the doctor first give encouraging news of David's head injuries and how they finally got the bleeding to stop and sew him back up, but it wasn't enough - our David would not be coming back to us. He was gone.

I couldnt believe it - did he just say what I thought he was saying? I didn't think it was true, but then hearing the cries and gasps through the phone of Cris and my parents, Laura sniffling, and people talking over the doctor I knew their reaction was telling me more of the truth. I stayed on the floor in my closet with my hand over my mouth thinking to myself  "he's gone?".

I finally came out of the closet in tears. I dont remember what I told my husband or kids at that point. But I remember Hannah's music continuing. It continued all day long. I loved it and hated it at the same time. I quickly started packing a suit case to take to Salt Lake - not knowing what to pack. I remember having to stop mid packing and starting to cry realizing I was packing for a funeral. The piano continued.

For the next 8 weeks, that song is almost the only song Hannah would play. Her audition was coming up and it needed her constant attention. It would often bring me to tears just to hear her play it. She wasn't meaning to make her mom sad while playing, but it couldn't be helped.

Her audition is over now (results unknown until March/April), and she doesn't play it near as often. But when she does, it brings tears and memories to me. I do love the song, music always brings emotions to the surface for me. It will forever be my David Song.

I love you brother and hope you are near me every time I hear this song. Enjoy ...