a letter to Jasmine, from Cristina

Jasmine:

There are so many things I want to write for you about your daddy that I am afraid I'll forget the most important ones. You were born on February 24/2009. Dad and I welcome you with so much joy. You were daddy's "baby blue eyes ". 

I want to tell you a little bit about papa Dave. First even when he is not here with us he loves you so much. You are 3 years old and I tell you all the time about papa. It seems like you don't remember many of the fun things he used to do with you. But he was very fun and loving dad. He was always worry about you growing up and he always said he needed it to buy a gun to make sure no boys will get close to you. Every time you heard the garage door opening you were the first one to run and give dad a hug. He would hug you and say : Oh my jazzy jaz. You loved when he used to throw you up and catch you, I have a lot of pictures to prove it. Hide and seek was your favorite game to play with him or what about the kailaan memory board game?. He bought lots of kids board games to play with you. I always enjoyed watching the 3 of you together. I think that is another activity I miss so much. 

I love your daddy with all my heart. He is the love of my life, the kind of love you feel once for that special person. A year ago our lives changed. Daddy was taken away from us. He had a very important job to do for Heavenly Father. Dad gave you a hug and a kiss the night before, you were sleeping on your bed and he stood at the door and whispered: Oh my Jazzy I love you so much! . I know with no doubt he is close to us more than we can image. I don't know why things happened this way but we have to believe that this was part of a plan that someday we will be able to understand. 

You are so little right now and with your innocence you help me get through day by day. I love when you say that daddy is at the temple. I love and admire your desire to go to the temple some day and you are only 3!. Melts my heart when you sing for me or when you sing for daddy Dave. We love you so much my beautiful daughter, I am trying my best to make sure you'll see papa again. Josh and you are my blessings in this life, you fill my life with joy and I can't wait for you to grow and see what kind of girl you'll be. 

Right now you are my buddy, who stays with mom while josh is at school. You like to go shopping with me and cooking too. I don't know what I'll do when you start going to school too. I guess I'll miss you but I need to let you grow. I wish you can stay this little. I want you to know how much papa Dave loves you. He is in a very special place now, he is working so hard and also he is with you. You will feel papa Dave as you grow older. I want to write to you the same I wrote on Josh's letter. The person responsible for what happened to dad is not a bad person, he is suffering very much. He is going trough a rough time like us. It is not easy for him and for us either. We were wounded bad by his actions. When the time is right I hope you can meet him. I hope you can feel in your heart the desire to forgive. I love you and you are also the world to me. Everyday I see a little bit of papa on you. I wish the best for you and I am always going to be here when you need a friend. Thanks so much for letting me be part of your life, thanks for your unconditional love and for teaching everyday about forgiveness. You are a beautiful soul and I am proud to be your mom.

Love you sweet heart!