Happy Birthday, from Liz

Happy Birthday Brother!

What a special day for us to celebrate! We miss you so much, and over the coming years we will miss you more and more. But many of us have felt you very near and we are so grateful for that.

Today is your day! It's my opportunity for me to tell you how much I love you and what I've learned since you left us on this physical earth. It's a hard thing to write and put into words, but I'll try.

I remember the week of your death, I kept asking myself “how will the atonement help me through this? How do I apply it to this situation?” I've been taught all my life how the atonement can help us in all things including grief and comfort– but until that time, I didn't know how.

I decided the place to start looking for answers was in the scriptures. I started in the middle of January with a goal to read the Book of Mormon in 40 days. By committing myself to 40–60 minutes a day of reading I was able to finish it in time. When I was done with that I didn't want to stop, so I set a new goal – to read the entire standard works before your next birthday. The Doctrine and Covenants was next, followed by the Old Testament and lastly came the New Testament. I didn't need a full hour every day, and some days got missed. But I was able to finish it all by the end of August.

Not only did I finish all that (and ahead of schedule), I also read Jesus The Christ, The Miracle of Forgiveness, and about 6 other books related to understanding the scriptures, the atonement, and the temple. To help me apply what I was learning I also went to the temple as often as possible.

What a wonderful period of time that was for me – I learned so much! One of the ways I was able to do this was that I was willing to ask specific questions as I studied. I had a journal/notebook I wrote in almost daily. Sometimes I would write a summary of what I read, sometimes it was a question I had about what I was reading what I wanted to learn more about. Sometimes it was my testimony and how it was being strengthened. And sometimes it was words of gratitude for the blessings in my life.

The day I finished the Book of Mormon, I wrote down some things I had learned about “Death and the Atonement”that I'd like to share:

• Life is eternal
• John 11:25-26: I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believeth in me shall never die.
• The Savior can heal, comfort, and strengthen those who weep for lost loved ones.
• The Algebra of Affliction: Things dont always “add up” because we don't have all the numbers.
• The Lords timing
• Proverbs 3:5: Trust in the Lord with all thine heart.
• He knows ALL our pains as individuals. Just as he visited with the Nephites one by one, he knows us the same way.
• When we reach for him, he reaches back. Our pains are in the nail prints.
• Because of the atonement, death is not an end or a tragedy. It is a beginning of a new journey. If we can draw close to the savior He is our constant companion who experienced our pain.

This was just the tip of the iceberg for me. A few pages later, I wrote the following: “Why is the story of The Creation and The Fall used in the temple ceremony? What am I to learn from it in relation to the covenants we make?” Although this isn't a direct question about the atonement, I felt I needed an answer. I won't tell you here what answers came to be, but I will say they came. Almost too fast to process. I took more notes in my journal and eagerly attended the temple several more times to solidify what I was learning over the coming months.

As I came to understand more and more about the temple, the plan of salvation, forgiveness, and service – that's when the atonement started to click for me. It's all related, and it's all in the gospel.

If anyone reading this wants to know the answers to my questions, I encourage them to go on their own journey of investigation. Write down your questions and earnestly seek to find the answers where ever they may be. The Lord will answer them for you.

But to my David – thank you! I have felt you guiding me to increase my understanding of the scriptures so that I can then strengthen my testimony. If there was one thing you would want from me for your birthday, it would be to come closer to the Savior so that when my time comes to find you in heaven, we can go together to learn even more about what is to come. I love you so much and am happy to be your sister.

Love, Liz