"Beautiful", from Katherine

“Beautiful”

Jane is beautiful inside and out. She was able to overcome her trials and then share what she had learned to those who most needed her. She was a woman of love, thoughtfulness, action, service, and above all charity. Jane is a character in the book entitled “Beautiful” by Jenny Phillips which was an answer to my prayers.

I have had the scripture of Moroni 7:44-48 posted on my bathroom mirror for over a year. I just couldn’t get my head wrapped around the meaning of charity. I had been working on this goal for personal progress and didn’t want to move on till I felt I really got it. Not only understand it, but be able to exemplify it. I just wasn’t getting it. And then David passed away and life seemed to go in slow motion. I wanted so desperately to be this person of charity and love; instead I gave way to my natural man. Anger, judgment, bitterness seemed to be creeping into my veins. It wasn’t even about David, it became about everyone around me. Those who I loved the most became target for my thoughts.

As I read this book and discovered the answer was charity, my hopes arose as my desire to understand charity increased. I bought 170 copies and began sharing this story to all the Young Women in my stake, to my friends, and to my family. I did 11 different classes, some in Hawaii, some in Utah, and even one in New York City. Sometimes as I read this book with others I could feel the “pure love of Christ” other times my thoughts would betray me and I felt I could never achieve this “change of heart”. Satan knows when we are weak and will be there ready. I felt like I was constantly being chipped away by him, he knew I was vulnerable. But I kept at it. I slowly started gaining the strength I needed to make the little changes needed. Heavenly Father was always there. I learned to call on him the instant I needed him with “all the energy of my heart”. I learned to flick Satan out the door. The atonement was working in my life and I could catch glimpses of this peace I was working for.

I loved sharing this story. Many were touched by its message. David was my example of charity. Everything he did was to make someone else happy or to fill their needs. I loved showing pictures of him giving train rides, his nieces and nephews playing on the castle, of his goofy faces, of him in his scout uniform, of him serving on his mission, of him marrying in the temple, of him reading to his children, of his Christ like life. I would tell these girls that life is short. That we are so blessed to have such great knowledge of the gospel. And that we like Jane, need to find others to share it with. I believe that we cannot serve two masters; it is time to choose which side we are on and fight for it. It says in verse 46 if ye have not charity, ye are nothing. I DO NOT want to be nothing. “Charity NEVER faileth…for all things must fail”. If all else fails, charity will always conquer.

In the end, I was the one most changed by this message; my heart is full everyday with gratitude. The anger and bitterness are gone and I am filled with love. By no means am I perfect, I just have a “perfect brightness of hope.” Recently I read a scripture in Peter 1:7 that says “that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth”. My trials have been more precious than gold. Even though it has been an incredibly hard year, I would not give it up for anything. I have grown and learned so much.

Love you Dave.